Cheeseburger Wasteland

Why isn't there an In-N-Out between Pinole and East Oakland?! What the hell? North Oakland, West Oakland, the Lake Merritt neighborhoods, Berkeley, Emeryville, Albany...this whole fucking place is crawling with burger eaters. There's so many goddamn French fries...I'm constantly having to make my way through smushed up French fries scattered all over the goddamn sidewalks; it actually slows me down. (One could easily slip and fall on that shit...totally fuckin' dangerous.) In-N-Out'd make a fortune here! We love special sauce. Are they stupid? Or is it some sort of a Christian thing (I've heard that they're owned and operated by fundies; I've even seen scriptures cited in tiny print on the bottoms of their cups), some faith-based scruple that keeps them away because the East Bay is pig Latin for the Beast? But if that were the case then the East Oakland and San Leandro In-N-Outs wouldn't make any sense. So what the hell is going on?