Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Your Face Is Hella NC-17, Dude


You can mock and/or execrate his masochistic tendencies, but you gotta respect his dedication.  This fucker really knows how to commit to something.  This is passion, misguided as it may be.

So props to you, kid.  Kudos for doing things your own way.  You clearly have a will of your own and you know how to resist outside pressures.  A tip o' my hat to you and if you ever ask me to buy you a drink, I'll buy you two.

Still, what a fuckin' nutjobber, right?  This is disturbing.  This is an insult to human bodies everywhere.  He obviously has a right to unsettle me by modifying his face into this obscene monstrosity, but why would he do so?  This is just terrible.  This is a brutal assault on my sensibilities.  I'm just tryin' to live my life here, and then here comes this guy.  C'mon, dude!  Wtf?  I don't want to see this.  How am I supposed to pretend I didn't see this?  Your face scars my psyche.  You should need a license for that shit.  How many times have you seen Hellraiser?

And, btw, I'm totally assuming this guy is a sex pervert.  I figure the chances are, like, 100%.  I mean, how could he not be a pervert...how would he ever get laid?  You'd pretty much have to be a perv.  Of course, I'm not saying there's anything necessarily wrong with being a sex pervert...live and let live.  But it's not exactly something you want on your resume, let alone your face.

Call me bourgeois, but I don't think this is the sort of thing that anyone should be encouraging.  This is just gross.

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