Old Vietnamese People

In Vietnam and in Vietnamese communities elsewhere, except in very formal or official contexts, when speaking of age one states a person’s age as the number of years since her birth plus one. The Vietnamese apparently consider a person’s gestation period as a part of that person’s life. (I cannot help but assume that such a perspective impacts Vietnamese opinions when it comes to the debate surrounding abortion.) Of course, the Vietnamese are aware that the typical pregnancy lasts only nine months, and so I presume that it is for the sake of convenience alone that when calculating age they add a full year to account for time spent in the womb. The logic of this way of speaking, even if born of a desire for arithmetic simplicity, makes it entirely possible for an individual to exist well before her parents have ever even met each other. This is especially true in the case of preemies. The potential for such a scenario, it seems to me, greatly undermines the significance of ancestors.

“Deathdays” are, perhaps, Vietnamese culture’s way of counterbalancing Vietnamese parents’ lack of importance. Vietnamese people have traditionally treated birthdays with little or no fanfare and have, instead, celebrated deathdays – that is, the anniversaries of the day when a beloved ancestor passed away. Family, friends, and neighbors all gather at the household where the dead honoree used to live, and they have a big party. Unlike a birthday party, however, no gifts are given. A place for the dead person is set at the table, though, and a bowl of food is served for the dead person’s ghost. Someone, usually the household’s matriarch, is assigned the job of emptying the dead person’s bowl of food when no one is looking. Then everyone pretends that the ghost came and ate dinner.